Micromanaging instead of Mothering…. that is the title of our Chapter this week.
I may not have been clear on this but we are sticking with our calendar … rain or shine….or ice or sleet or snow or wintry mix!
We will cover a few questions from Chapter 4 (I listed them in the blog post before this one).
Chapter 5 is specifically about our Control issues in parenting so I hope you will have time to read it.
And if you would prefer to listen to part of the chapter, check out this video clip:
I am pondering a question from Shannon’s notes and if you get a chance, give it a try:
“I needed to have a parenting plumb line, a point of reference from which my husband and I would make rules and set boundaries. I also needed to have an end goal in mind.” Karen Ehman
Spend some time and pen two or three sentences describing who you want your teen to be at 25. What is one adjustment in your parenting that would need to be made to help shape your teen into the adult you’re dreaming of?
I posted the following to Facebook but I want to include it here as well. God has been teaching me through this lesson and the reading I am doing in the bible.
I created this a week ago and I didn’t recall ever reading it before. Yesterday, God brought it to mind when I was feeling tossed to and fro because one of my teens was feeling tossed by the actions of someone else. I was comforted to realize that it was an opportunity to speak the truth in love and grow… for both of us. It is emotional and hard. I prayed for God to help me grow in this way. This morning, I woke up with the Holy Spirit convicting me in a completely different situation that is a deceitful scheme. And for as much as I struggle with obeying in difficult situations, I am grateful that God loves me and my teens enough to discipline and teach me.
PS.As I was preparing our outline for tomorrow, I realized that I missed the quiz at the end of chapter 5! Even if you don’t read the chapter, take a minute to think about these different areas of controlling our teens. It helped me to personalize the ideas.
Friday Follow-up on our meeting this week:
Here are the notes from class including some great questions to ponder this week.
We watched a portion of the Karen Ehman DVD: Combating the me first mentality
We control because we have a “me first” mentality. We put ourselves before others and sometimes even before God.
Karen teaches on Sarai/Sarah’s story in Genesis. What we can learn from it:
- Take God at his word, but also trust his timing.
- Don’t be a “me first” maniac.
- Don’t behave in a way that makes you desire “do-overs” in life. But when you do, allow God to turn your predicament into purpose.
In what areas do you wish you had do-overs with your teens?
How is that connected to our desire to put ourselves first?
Cluster Group questions:
In what ways do we modern-day women tend to be like the impatient Sarai?
In what area of your life are you the most impatient and find it hardest to trust God’s timing?
“I needed to have a parenting plumb line, a point of reference from which my husband and I would make rules and set boundaries. I also needed to have an end goal in mind.” p 85
1) Describe who you want your teen to be at 25. What is one adjustment in your parenting that would need to be made to help shape your teen into the adult you’re dreaming of?
“As our children grow and mature, we must learn to let go, allow them more choices (within boundaries) and let them fail.” p 97-98
2) Which of these is the biggest struggle for you personally – letting go, allowing choices or letting your child fail? What is one thing you could do this week to grow in this area?
“In middle school, allow your kids to set some of their own boundaries and the corresponding consequences for crossing the line.” p 100
3) Work as a group and think of some areas in which you could allow your teen to set some boundaries as well as consequences.
“In high school, treat your kids like young adults, not babies.” p 101
4) What does this look like in practical terms, in your home? What are privileges and responsibilities that a young adult has that a baby does not?