Hovering over the Home followup

{Blog post for Hope Moms of Teens. We are currently reading Let.it.go by Karen Ehman}

 Hello Moms, We had a small group this week. I know many of you had teens home for spring break, are off on adventures or are suffering from illness or injury. We missed you all and I have included the notes and questions for you to read and ponder. We will NOT be meeting this coming week. My teens and I will be traveling to Denver to visit my sister and her teens (remember Amy from her visit to our group this fall?) and also celebrate my Mom and Step-father’s 20th Anniversary. Jane will also be in CO. She is currently 4 hours into a 23 hour drive with a large crowd of our teens. I saw a few photos some of our Moms of Teens posted on Facebook today saying their good-byes to their babies on the buses. What amazing opportunities our kiddos have with Hope Student Ministries. And opportunities for Mama’s grow and let go 🙂 Thank you, amazing Jane, for being the Mama on duty.

This past week, Abby Hamilton joined our group and we were so happy to have her. She shared a funny story of making memories from an imperfect situation.    Abby also shared an opportunity with us that is perfectly in tune with one of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman we studied this week.

Proverbs 31:20 “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” 

The Moms at Hope will be collecting money for reading tutors for Hopewell Orphanage. Donating is completely optional. If you would like to contribute, please bring cash or checks made out to Hope to our next meeting on March 25th when we return from spring break. Here’s a link to learn more about this awesome ministry: http://www.hopewellbelize.org/

There are also volunteer opportunities with Oasis of Hope. Katie and I will be volunteering at the Easter Egg Hunt. We had a great time last year. Shelly and her kiddos were there as well. For more information, check out the website: (this site is managed by our very own Karey Hoff)   http://www.oasis-of-hope.com/news/2015/03/bring-on-the-jellybeans-marshmallow-bunnies-its-time-for-the-easter-egg-hunt-328/

XO, Melissa

let it go prov 31

Session 3 video clip link on youtube:


{The following class handout was compiled and edited by me using information from the author, Karen Ehman, the P31 OBS leader, Melissa Taylor, Moms of Teens Bible Study Leader, Shannon Milholland and the Holy Bible}

We watched the entire video in class and these are the summary notes:

Pursuing the Appearance of Perfection


Sometimes we over-control because we are pursuing the appearance of perfection and perfection, to us, is having things done our way.

The woman in Proverbs 31 was often cited for her “doing.” Let’s look instead at her “being.”

She was a woman who didn’t pursue the appearance of perfection but was pursuing the person and purposes of God.

How can we go from pursuing perfection (wanting it done our way) to speaking with wisdom and kindness? Ask yourself these questions.

  • Does it matter now?
  • Will it matter tomorrow?
  • Will it affect eternity?
  • Is God trying to teach me something? If so, what?
  • Can I pause and praise instead of interrupt and instigate?
  • Is there really an issue here that needs addressing with my teen?
  • Am I just being a control freak and need to let it go?

Strategies for being more of a Proverbs 31 Mom:

  • Remember there are lots of ways to get to 4.
  • Recognize the difference between goals and desires.
  • Recognize that imperfect can still make perfectly wonderful memories.

  1. Of the questions in the video notes (bulleted above), what stands out to you?
  2. In what areas would it benefit you most to remember that “there are many ways to get to 4”?
  3. Can you name a time in your life when an imperfect situation made a perfectly wonderful memory?

 On pages 119-123, Karen lists some steps you can take to dampen coals of mama’s domestic wrath, which of these do you most need to start doing to assure in a greater degree of serenity in your home? Have you tried any of these this week?

Host a family summit.

Gauge each person’s expectations.

Recognize the trigger-point times.

Pursue compromise.

Make a consequence, but make it equitable.

Come up with family sayings.

Praise often.

Embrace imperfect.

Look for what God is doing in you.

Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

  1. What are some actions this woman took or tasks she performed?
  2. What might have been her motives for doing these things?
  3. What other people are mentioned in the passage? What did they think or say about her?
  4. What insights do you gain from her that you can apply to mothering your teens?

What stands out to you most in the verses below? Write out a prayer about your use of your tongue with your teens.

Job 6:24 ~ Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong.

Psalm 34:12-14 ~ Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Psalm 64:3 ~ They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.

Psalm 139:4 ~ Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.

Proverbs 15:1-2 ~ A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Proverbs 21:23 ~ Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.

James 1:26 ~ Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

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