Parenting Lessons from a pair of sister wives

As most of you know I co-lead a Moms of Teens group. I am also part of an online group called Good Morning Girls that reads the bible together 1 chapter at a time. God has been teaching me many things as I spend time with him reading his Word. This month we are reading 1 Samuel.

The beginning of the very first chapter captivated me and I have been meditating on it for a few weeks. So much application to my own life and to my role as a Mom. I can put myself into the place of each of these characters.

I knew that we had chapters in our current Moms of Teens (MOTS) book that spoke on friendships and on eating disorders … I could see some of that in this pair of “sister-wives”.

I wanted to come right out and share each insight but truly felt God nudging me to not “teach” it but to simply guide others in reading it for themselves. And as we did that together as a group, I learned even more.

Some big revelations like … how we can sometimes try to make our kid’s problems all about us and try to solve things for them instead of listening (WHAT?!)  like Elkanah did to Hannah.

And we made some interesting observations like … beer is mentioned in the bible!

So if you are reading this, give it a shot. See what you can learn from this passage:

 

1 Samuel 1:1-20 (NIV)

There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.

Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. 10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

 12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” 15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” 17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”

 18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”

 

Reflection Questions:

What can we learn from Hannah and Peninnah’s relationship? Have you or your teens ever felt like Hannah? Peninnah?

How did Hannah initially respond to Peninnah’s provoking (v.7)?

How did Hannah’s husband react to her (v.8)? Do you ever find yourself taking it personally when your teen is downhearted, weeping or not eating?

What did Hannah do in her deep anguish  (vs. 10-17)?

And how did it change her (v.18) ?

How can this help you in parenting your teenager?


 

These are my attempts at writing scripture prayers from the story. And of course, I added some photos to them too. (I didn’t really have photos of people provoking one another but I could recollect a few of my kids poking and provoking each other.)

Prayers for your teens based on 1 Samuel 1:1-20

Lord, I pray that ___________ would be a good friend and never provoke or intentionally irritate others. And if ___________ is provoked, that he/she would come to you in prayer.

 Just as Hannah did, I pray that ____________ would share his/her downhearted feelings and his/her heart’s desires with you. Remind ____________ that you remember him/her.

 

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