Remain

This morning I was excited to wake up to the First 5 app alarm and go straight into God’s Word. It is a great new app that Proverbs 31 Ministries launched on Monday.  (okay now it should read Monday August 27th because I never posted this)

For more information, check it out:     www.first5.org

In theory, I would love to give the first 5 minutes of my day (or more) to God. In practice, I usually don’t! So I started this week very hopeful that the app would help. Day 1, technical difficulties…but I was so determined I actually got out of bed and read some proverbs on my own…after I made coffee. Today, I opened the app and began the devotional in the Book of John.  I love a quick devotional and it is also awesome that they offer more in depth reading of the bible if you have time first thing or you can go back to it later.  Which I must admit, my days get busy and I don’t always make reading the Word a priority.

This theme of staying in the Word (not just because it is a good-churchy-thing but because it is transforming) was brought to my attention a little later and prompted me to write about it here.

I was on Facebook (hey, don’t judge, I didn’t click the app first today…:-)) And I read a post with a question that got me thinking:

Facebook post July 28, 2015
Nicki Koziarz
Hi friends! Sorry this page and my blog have been a little quite lately. Proverbs 31 Ministries just wrapped up our big She Speaks conference last week and this week I’m knee-deep in the final stages of writing my book [which I just can’t wait for you to have in your hands!]
I promise all the fun stuff like Two Minute Tuesday, and graphics will be back up soon. smile emoticon
But today, can you help me with something?
I’m writing about refinement and I’m wondering … what is the hardest thing you have been through? What did God teach you during that time? Was there a verse or quote that pulled you through?
You can share as much or as little as you want but I’d LOVE to be inspired by your stories in the comment section here.

Reading this challenge, I immediately thought of a day during our move to Virginia. And I remembered that I had written an email to a mentor and also copied it to a friend that I knew had dealt with moving as a fellow Navy wife. I detailed my distress and my relief. (And being the email hoarder that I am, I found the old email and used it in a comment to Nicki’s question.)

email messages July 25, 2011

I am in a hotel waiting to move into the new house. I have been the parent in control all week and have held it together. Yesterday I was alone and felt pain. Headache, stomach ache etc. I just started crying. I knew it was stress. I surrendered to God. And I remembered your hug and your reminder of my word…remain. I recalled John 15 from memory. And I had a clear picture of my pain … Pruning. I can almost name the spots that are being pruned. And they hurt. But it was easier to get on with my day. This morning Katie woke up sad and I got out my handy iPhone bible and we read all of John 15.
Remaining and loving one another even when our pruning is raw.
XO,
Melissa

reply:  Oh melissa, I’m so thankful gods word touched your pain. I’ve been in a hotel with similiar feelings. I am praying for you with a heart of love and understanding.

reply: Thank you for sharing that you are suffering. I am sorry. I don’t know what this “pruning” is that you are going through, but if you need to share your burden (Galatians 6:2), I am here for you as a servant.

Find rest O my soul in God alone. My hope comes from Him. Psalm 62:5.

Remain was the word I felt God put on my heart that year. Not to remain in Memphis (which I really wanted to do) but to

REMAIN in HIM.

In His Word, the bible. And that is what the new app is helping me to come back to in a more techie way. 

Two other lessons that I recognize as I write this blog:

1. Sharing our journey with other sisters in Christ  (even if it is an quick honest email   or, hey, maybe even a blog :-)) is one way God calls us to love one another.
2. Memorizing scripture is an amazing way to allow God to transform your heart. I have several verses in my memory bank. John 15 is the only chapter I have memorized. I did it verse by verse with accountability in my Titus 2 Group 11 years ago … when I was a younger Titus 2 woman. God used this Chapter to comfort me in that hotel room. And He is using it today to remind me to Remain in the Word.
3. Now that I posted this picture I thought of a third …   I’ll quickly share then I promise I’ll close   … I forgot that on the metal ring with John 15 verses that I was given by the “older” women, I added laminated photos of the members of my group. And I began praying for them. Our hearts became connected by loving each other in prayer. And encouraging each other to REMAIN. (okay… and meeting together for dinner).

Do you envy me?

Do you envy me?    Will you admit it?

Do I secretly hope you do?  SOMETIMES.

Do I envy you? PERHAPS.

Do we all compare ourselves to others? OF COURSE

How about: do I compare my kids to your kids? YEP

Do I envy my own kids????  and their awesome adventures??

These are some of the photos I posted on social media this week:

 In my conscious mind, I posted these photos with the intention of sharing life. Rejoicing in the adventures of others and appreciating that they are experiencing God’s beautiful creation. I have been truly at peace and not jealous of them having adventures without “Mom”. I have also been free of worry and trusting God with their safety. And that is such a gift. Thank you Lord, for my peaceful heart.

But after listening to this week’s bible study lesson on the comparison trap by Andy Stanley, I have been reflecting on social media and the effect it can have on others.

Cause then I posted this:

Yep, an honest post but when Kim mentioned my nails, I realized the photo had some underlying pride. UGLY! what a constant battle we are in in this world!

If you haven’t seen the video, you can watch it now for free.

I highly recommend it for you and your family.

Comparison Trap Session 1 link

Here is the handout for reflection:

I have been reflecting on several verses since I watched the video.

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Proverbs 14:30

Sean and I even had an in depth discussion about it at dinner. And I brought up question 5. Is there anyone you secretly enjoy seeing fail?  Who want to admit that!!! not me. But I thought about Facebook and although I don’t want people to fail, I have noticed that I don’t hit the “like” button on certain photos. which ones and why, you might wonder… confession ~ generally it involves cheerleaders. There I said it. And it is ridiculous but it stems all the way back to Junior High. A group of new friends (we had moved that year) were staying after school. I asked why and they informed me that it was cheerleader tryouts. I was clueless that there were even cheerleaders in Jr. High. The Catholic K-8 school that I had attended in Pittsburgh didn’t have them. These new friends didn’t ask me to join them in tryouts. I felt judged and rejected and a seed of bitterness was planted.

I truly don’t believe that cheerleading was a gift of mine, heck, I could never do a cart wheel. But that didn’t stop me from comparing myself to this soon-to-be popular crowd.  And envying their after school fun and friendship as I got on the bus headed for yet another lonely afternoon watching “The Guiding Light” alone.

As I told my husband a bit of this at dinner on Wednesday, he smiled and said “It is time to let it go”. Yes, yes it is! Letting it go…a theme this year! It can be as easy as recognizing it, confessing it, accepting forgiveness and repenting. Okay, maybe that isn’t EASY but it can be. I am done with resenting cheerleaders!

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.

Ecclesiastes 4:6

Chasing after the wind… that is another whole blog topic and it is time to wake up my sleeping teenager that has returned from her adventures.

Looking forward to next week’s video. and what God will Reveal and Heal in me next!

What is the secret to contentment?

“Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, there in to be content.”  Helen Keller

What is the secret to contentment?

It can be found in these bible verses:

This week we are reading Chapter 10 in Let. It. Go and it is titled: Embracing Your What-evvv-er.

Begin by watching video clip on this chapter:

Let it Go Group Bible Study by Karen Ehman – Session 5 Clip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UPbE8zf96o

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We begin by discussing Comparisons!

I found this photo on pinterest … one of the very places we may be tempted to compare ourselves to others. But like other social media outlets, we can find encouragement as well. One perspective I try to have when viewing others photos is to:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/22095854398217471/?fb_ref=22095991830218422%3AX49MlaQuxIO4rNhH2oh5 Galatians 6:4

And when we rejoice and/or mourn with others, we do find joy!Yes, even in the mourning!

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God showed me these truths in very real ways on Wednesday. My morning began with preparation for the day at Hope. I was really looking forward to the Moms Celebration. I love when people share their testimonies. One of the testimonies I was familiar with because I had the privilege of praying along side this “younger sister” friend as she dealt with the aftermath of a scary event, that had a miraculous outcome but also scarred her with fear and tested her faith. I also had the opportunity to pray with my own teen daughter that was impacted by the story. The near death of this sweet 2 year old that she babysits and as she said “I was just cuddling with him last week!” Feeling someone’s pain and fear is not joyful in the moment but God does use it to transform us and allow us to love others in a deeper way. And we need His Strength to do it.

Ali bravely videotaped (I taught her to use the tripod and I pushed the record button… yea… sometimes God uses my “gifts” in practical ways 🙂 the testimony and was compelled to share it on social media this weekend (after several deep breaths and relying God’s prompting). For all of you that were not there, here is the recording and if you did hear it, the video is still amazing, she added a slideshow of her sweet boy Jack to the song Oceans which is part of her testimony.

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The miraculous story of a 2 year old who survived a drowning, and how God comforted his mother as she grappled with intense fear for months afterward. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMjJBmzSx1s&feature=youtu.be

I get teary every time I hear this but just now I laughed at this particular quote in light of our social media discussion:

“Say what you will about Facebook, but God can speak to you through anything.” … He gave Ali this piece of His Word:

Habakkuk 3:17-19  (NIV)

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.

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Back to my early morning… I was also looking forward to hearing Kimberly’s testimony, which I had know idea what it entailed, and to hearing Tammy Oppenhuizen sing, her voice gives me goosebumps, good goosebumps, and to hear Christian Seay accompany her. I can’t remember ever hearing him but I see his name in my laundry!!! Yes, he is part of the Hope Student Ministries worship team and my teen daughter has a concert T-shirt with his name on it!   All of this proved to exceed my expectations.

Besides looking forward to this amazing morning, I was sitting down with this laptop at 6:30am attempting to create the handout of questions and insights for our Moms of Teens class following the celebration. Most weeks I get a list of chapter appropriate Moms of Teens questions from Shannon Milholland who is leading the same book at her new church in Chicago. I had not received it yet. I emailed Shannon and she quickly replied that they were not meeting this week. I was on my own! And it was already the morning of…crap! And a few comparisons attacked my thoughts. Comparisons to Shannon who started and lead this group before me. She was always prepared! She was a gifted teacher! ….Oh Comparisons….that is what we are talking about. I was reminded that I was not called to fill her shoes but to carry the torch. The torch of the Gospel. To let God work through me. And today he was telling me to skip the handout with prepared questions. To leave some open space today for others to share.

And guess what?? I LET IT (controlling by over-planning) GO!! I walked in faith!

I gathered my books and my camera, got dressed, and went to church early in time for prayer.

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Here is the link to the photos:
>>>>>>>{moms at hope}<<<<<<<
Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story… Psalm 107:2
End of year celebration: Music by Tammy Oppenhuizen and Christian Seay   Speakers: Kimberly Allen and Ali Shinnick

https://womenofhope.shutterfly.com

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And God was so faithful! I was prompted to ask if anyone was currently in a circumstance in which they were struggling to find contentment? And I allowed for silence…..I didn’t fill it up with my words…. that is a work of God in and of itself 🙂

And then the Holy Spirit moved hearts to share. And prompted and outpouring of love and prayer.

It was intense and powerful. Afterward, I was very reflective and prayerful. Not wanting to take over or control but listen for ways that God would have us act. And the next morning I was given a picture…on Instagram ! Here is what I wrote in an email about it:

“I know we talked about how social media and photos don’t tell the whole story. And this can cause problems. But I also see snapshots as powerful. As we pray together in how best to show Godly love to our teens and to each other, I saw this picture as an answer. It was posted by Hope Student Ministries. These students were serving in the community together. It warmed my heart to recognize Shelley’s son smiling in the bottom right and his camo arm along side Angie’s daughter’s striped arm and the V space between them is my daughter’s smile! Their hands reaching together just as ours did in prayer earlier that same day. God is so awesome! And I love when I can see Him in the background of a picture! Prayer, Sharing struggles and brokenness, Service … all ways God draws us together to love one another.
Feeling grateful that He brought us together.”

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As with most of my blog posts…I pour out what is on my heart and then I feel an abrupt ending coming on. And that is now!

xo, Melissa